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Accept that it takes two to make a marriage. It takes them years to get through feeling that they've ruined everyone's lives, including their own. Learn How to Get Beyond the Hurt. Straight spouses also question whether or not they ever really had anything in terms of a marriage. This stage is affected by various factors such as children, social considerations, age of the couple, belief systems and personalities, as well as levels of sexual openness between the couples. While each couple is unique, these stages can serve as a rough road map for therapists trying to help mixed-orientation couples make sense oftheir feelings, communicate honestly, and ultimately make informed, healthy decisions about their future. Breakup Separation Annulment Divorce Widowhood.